A good time to reflect on Resignating Nookyalur Terra-ist Presidents
[Posted 20 February 2006]
Who thought of a holiday to honor this country's Presidents, anyway? Of course,
it's worse than usual this year, with a
moron for President
I used to have a friend from Jamaica who'd always trick me.
He'd mention the same quote from Bush, and then let a few weeks or months go by,
so that we hadn't been joking about Bushisms for a while. Then one day, just in
casual conversation, he'd tell me that he was working really hard lately. "Why?"
I'd ask, expecting him to tell me that work was busier than usual. "To put food
on my family," he'd reply, quoting the famous Bushism that Americans have to "work
hard to put food on their families." Then he'd wait for more time to go by, and a
few weeks later, I'd ask the same "Why?" It was always amazing that he could
trick me into the same joke so easily.
"Is our children learning" about "clean, safe, nookyalur" "terra-ists" who
"resignate with the people" aside, Presidents other than Bush are a pretty sorry
Maybe that's because we've had so many Republican Presidents
Let's see, we
had Nixon involved in the whole Watergate flap, not willing to leave Vietnam
until he desperately promised to end the war in order to be re-elected.
And we had the big
star of "Bedtime for Bonzo," Ron-bo Ray-gun, playing second-fiddle to a monkey
in the movies because he just couldn't draw the crowds like a chimp could.
After slandering a lot of co-workers to Joe McCarthy's panel on "anti-American"
activities while he worked at the Screen Actors' Guild, Reagan
went on to enter California politics, went senile, and then won the Presidency.
(By the way, if you want to keep people from Wisconsin humble,
just say these words:
Joe McCarthy, SENATOR from WISCONSIN.)
Nicaraguan bombin', Libyan bombin', Granadan bombin', Panamanian bombin',
Russki slanderin', nuclear-war-threatenin', cocaine-smugglin', PATCO-firin',
economy-destroyin', Ronnie "Cold War" Reagan certainly ranks as one of the
worst Presidents this country has ever had.
And Reagan's veep, Duh-bya's father, was no genius. If the economy's in the toilet,
you know there's a Bush in the White House. It was kind of in the toilet when
Reagan was President, but you see, Bush was only Vice-President then. The full
flush didn't happen until the elder Bush was actually President. And that's when
Iraq-Nam started, too.
Of course, Republicans always like to pick on Bill Clinton because of his
Presidential blow job. Now, the fact that Bill was actually able to
GET a blow job was partly because he was a half-way DECENT President.
I mean, how many women want to do George Duh-bya Bush? Bush had to PAY
Jeff Gannon at least $200 an hour for
sex. Women don't want George, and men have to be PAID to want him. (Other than
Victor Ashe, who was shipped to Poland.) So Clinton's
sex scandal story only proves that
Clinton at least had SOMETHING going for him. Plus Republicans who claim that
Hillary is a lesbian only imply that her husband HAD to look elsewhere for sex.
But Clinton wasn't all that great from
a Democratic perspective. Yes, he was good at keeping the economy running, but he
should have stimulated the economy by fixing the health care system, instead of
dumping so much money into the freakin' CRIME BILL. He put a bunch
of cops on the
street all at once, which aside from attracting people who really don't
belong in law enforcement, meant a lot more cops lying about things in order
to write more traffic tickets.
I remember everyone in Malibu, California complaining about
constantly getting tickets for nothing. I experienced quite a few lying cops there
myself -- as in, I'd be going UNDER the speed limit because I'd been pulled over
so often for nothing, and cops would STILL pull me over and accuse me of going 20
over, just to write the ticket. And just before the crime bill, some crooked
Deputy, Gary Spencer, shot the heir to the Scott Chemical Company (as in, Scott
paper towels), thinking he'd
accuse the elderly man of growing pot on his ranch in order to take his $5 million
property under assets forfeiture.
(Although my father reminded me that on a
trip he took to California in the 60's, people were being pulled over for doing
nothing wrong, too. California seemed to have that police corruption problem going
back to its Reagan days, but Clinton's crime bill added fuel to the fire.) I know
why Clinton decided to hire more cops instead of giving people health insurance
though -- it was more immediate. You need to educate people in order
to work in health
care. Cops can be hired off of the street, and the economy was in such dire and
immediate need after 12 years of Reagan-Bush that the country
couldn't wait any longer.
As it is, it took a few years to get the economy going, even with the crime bill.
Yeah, it was just throwing money into a bunch of government jobs -- a typical
Democratic trick that isn't all that enlightened -- but it worked.
Carter was a different animal, seeming to be a genuinely kind person. How'd a nice
guy get to be President, anyway? Carter was sandwiched in between Ford and
Reagan like a kitten between piles of steaming dog poo. His big cause, Habitat for
Humanity, is still going on. I even knew a Republican businessman who took
time off of work and was PROUD to be helping
Jimmy Carter throw houses together for the poor. But one thing my father pointed
out about Carter was kind of true -- he wasn't experienced enough to get things
done around Washington. Yeah, he wasn't some corrupt freak like so many other
Presidents, but he alienated a lot of corporations and other powerful crooks
who he needed help from, just to get
his agenda going. He also deregulated the airlines, which wasn't half
as bad as Reagan
firing all of the Air Traffic Controllers at once, but deregulation
still made the airlines
more dangerous. He did try to put
on the White House -- but Reagan took those down. None of that
"technologically advanced" stuff for Bonzo's supporting actor!
And then there's the old Vietnam failure, LBJ, yet another corrupt Texan. Although
Johnson did get us too deep into Vietnam instead of pulling out like he should
have, at least he did try to institute some of the social programs that Kennedy
wanted. This is despite certain people with inside knowledge claiming that
Johnson was in on the Kennedy assassination -- a plot with Nixon, Hoover, and
Johnson at the center of it. Johnson also tried to help Martin Luther King with
the civil rights movement, at least until King started to speak out against the
war, at which time Johnson was most likely involved in that assassination, too.
Overall, Johnson was more of a corrupt Texan than a Democrat, but even Johnson
looks good compared to more recent Presidents like Duh-bya Bush, Old Bush, and
Reagan. Until the Bush family came to town, "suicided" wasn't even a word, after
Kennedy was the "last real President" according to people who see the latest
round of "Presidencies" as nothing more than rigged elections and dirty deals.
Namely, Kennedy was the last President who we really elected, and his
assassination was a Coup D'etat of the American Constitutional form of government.
Since everyone knows that governmental elements
were the people really behind Kennedy's assassination, I'm going to spend the rest
of the time on Kennedy admiring Jim Marrs.
Jim Marrs is a journalist/author who's
one of the best sources on the Kennedy assassination, largely because
he has lived in the
Dallas/Fort Worth area his entire life. He even has a photo of himself as a young
man dancing at Jack Ruby's nightclub -- before Ruby shot Oswald, and we all know the
rest of that story. Marrs is a regular guest on the Jeff Rense radio show, and
always has some interesting perspectives. I really enjoyed his quote on
SUVs and Starbucks, namely that a lot of people have written him with
eloquently-written arguments on
how we need to fight oil wars in order to drive to Starbucks in our
SUVs. (Drive to Starbucks sometime -- it seems most of the vehicles in the lot are
SUVs.) Anyway, Marrs does cover aliens, which some people think of as "crazy."
But what came first? I think Marrs got into the whole conspiracy area of journalism
BECAUSE he was so involved with the Kennedy case. He managed to interview all of
the living witnesses that he could find, and has some very
interesting facts as a result, for example everyone seemed to agree on the fact
that there were 3 volleys of shots. Independently, witness accounts said that
the shots went "Bang... Bang-bang." All kinds of interesting facts pop up when you
bother to do the hard work of interviews.
But I digress. My main point is, why bother remembering our Presidents, when our
Presidents are more the type of people you'd want to forget? They're an
embarrassment to the country, destructive, selfish, and just plain evil. But as
with any horrible person, I guess they do serve as bad examples to hold up to
the world. "Don't snort so much coke, or you could end up resignating with
the peoples' nookyalur food on their families..." Or become some
President who goes down in history as saying just that, while ruining
the planet at the same time.
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